... God does not change.
... We need to.
Losing your sense of security to God is what I wrote of last time. Your sense of comfort, God will shake you from it, because before we meet wih God we are all slaves to sin and Jesus sets us free. But even though I gave my life to Him many years ago, there are still many things I need to let go of. Part of becoming an adult is learning to make responsible choices, to start living entirely independently. Having been financially dependent all my life, never having had a real job except for youth work and a bit of manual labour, I find myself in a quite difficult position when it comes to making that choice. There are of course, other factors which hinder me, not having a stable base anywhere in the world. I would not mind to keep studying, but I have to change my area of study, move on into something which I can appreciate more, even though economics is fascinating in some parts. The thing is, I don't know what I want to study for the moment, but I do know one thing.
Last week-end, five youth workers went from Canterbury to Sherwood Forest (yes, Robin Hood's woods!). In that place was held a conference on Christian Youth Work hosted by Newfrontiers. Over 400 other youth workers were there, easily. They didn't learn the five steps to becoming a better youth worker, nor the formula for increasing the numbers in their youth groups. Their attention was brought to the focus of their work, which is very often the way youth work starts out, then is lost to a prioritisation of other goals. This focus is Jesus. I don't know if all who read this will understand, so I will explain: the size of the youth group one is leading does not matter; its level of "coolness" does not matter; what matters is that what we are bringing into the meetings is Jesus; how do we do that? By preaching the gospel. The other things will follow; we could have the best venue for fun events and have a hundred teenagers coming to these meetings, but if we do not teach Jesus, our work means nothing. We're just another party on earth. You see, when our perspective is redirected towards God's, success is not attained by having the coolest youth group in town, nor the biggest, success is appearing before the throne of God and Him saying, at the end of our life "Well done, my good and faithful servant!".
I was one of those five youth workers, and not only did we receive awesome teaching on the gospel, God spoke to each of us individually. One thing I was reminded of, is that I don't need to make that choice of what to do next year. God has already done it for me, but what I need to do is to submit once again to God, submit all, leaving my sense of security, my fear of not being able to sustain myself and failing. There was a reason for me being at that conference and there is a reason why the Lord made His presence felt so much (and He did, oh He did!). I could have gone there and remain unchanged, but I was not unchanged, I was shaken.
... If God asks me to work with the Church for the rest of my life, I am willing to do that... It would not even be a big sacrifice! It would be the best adventure I could ever have! But I WILL live a life of sacrifice for Him, no one can stop me from doing that... Because I love Him. But also, because I know He loves me far more... He is building me up to be a man, and He will never let me fall!
I wish you all a good life, I don't know what mine holds, but I know it' s in the most capable
hands there are...
"Now faith is being SURE of what we hope for and CERTAIN of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Monday, January 17, 2005
Falling purposefully...!
Needless to say, after that I have had a good week (see previous post, in fact, see all posts!)...
This is a sort of adding on to an even older post, but not that old, in fact the previous post I just wrote five minutes ago, right, Joey, write like a writer, not like a punk! So... I wanted to edit "Sinusoidal Heart Patterns", but I thought no one would notice, so I will write a new post... I do believe that this is a theme going through much of what I write anyway, eventually I will give a definition of what it means!
Job. Relationship. Position in society. Degree. Going the right way. There's more in this direction. Fulfilled? Are these things not just there to keep you busy from thinking about the splinter in your toe? You think that the way of success will quench this desire for more, yet the closer you get, the more you realise your thirst is not being quenched. Something is wrong... Make the right gamble and get rocketed to the top. The Problem is that at the top, you are limited. There's no place higher to go. The only way is downhill from there. And downhill it is... Drugs, alcohol, sex, oh take me into the realms of decadence. Boredom of life, make it sweeter for me.
We are not perfect, the people around us are not perfect, one way or another in your life you have been harmed. You try to forget about it and build your life. Sense of security is the most important to people in this society. What happens when on your trip you trip? Lose your balance, fall down the stairs, it hurts.
23Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. 24For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. 25What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?” Luke 9:23-25
This is the punchline. Living for ourselves is useless. We will die and not be remembered. If you try and save yourself in all the ways you can, you will be left alone, sad, angry, miserable... Why would you hoard up as many riches and as much success as you can to then find yourself the richest person in the graveyard? Sooner or later, the ground behind your feet will be missing. How about going against the norm, accepting this and taking a fall. Losing your sense of security could be the best thing you ever do, you're going to fall, fall, fall... And then you will be caught.
Into the arms of the Lord Jesus Christ. This is the answer to the question. This is without a doubt, the life you've always wanted. Think about it...
This is a sort of adding on to an even older post, but not that old, in fact the previous post I just wrote five minutes ago, right, Joey, write like a writer, not like a punk! So... I wanted to edit "Sinusoidal Heart Patterns", but I thought no one would notice, so I will write a new post... I do believe that this is a theme going through much of what I write anyway, eventually I will give a definition of what it means!
Job. Relationship. Position in society. Degree. Going the right way. There's more in this direction. Fulfilled? Are these things not just there to keep you busy from thinking about the splinter in your toe? You think that the way of success will quench this desire for more, yet the closer you get, the more you realise your thirst is not being quenched. Something is wrong... Make the right gamble and get rocketed to the top. The Problem is that at the top, you are limited. There's no place higher to go. The only way is downhill from there. And downhill it is... Drugs, alcohol, sex, oh take me into the realms of decadence. Boredom of life, make it sweeter for me.
We are not perfect, the people around us are not perfect, one way or another in your life you have been harmed. You try to forget about it and build your life. Sense of security is the most important to people in this society. What happens when on your trip you trip? Lose your balance, fall down the stairs, it hurts.
23Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. 24For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. 25What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?” Luke 9:23-25
This is the punchline. Living for ourselves is useless. We will die and not be remembered. If you try and save yourself in all the ways you can, you will be left alone, sad, angry, miserable... Why would you hoard up as many riches and as much success as you can to then find yourself the richest person in the graveyard? Sooner or later, the ground behind your feet will be missing. How about going against the norm, accepting this and taking a fall. Losing your sense of security could be the best thing you ever do, you're going to fall, fall, fall... And then you will be caught.
Into the arms of the Lord Jesus Christ. This is the answer to the question. This is without a doubt, the life you've always wanted. Think about it...
The Lord will restore his people...
Feeling creative...
Well, I walked into the chapel last week, because I wanted to pray, it is never easy getting back together with God.
When you have not connected with Him in a while you suddenly feel, when you're trying to pray, that you don't know Him that well anymore, you feel distant. That is the worst feeling... You feel you've blown it, that the greatest thing you had, that kept you going is now gone. The truth is, no matter how many times I've blown it, I have always been able to reconnect with God, it just takes a little perseverance! The Lord will not turn his back on you, it's not in His nature. He COULD never, even if He wanted to, it's not in his promises. But He can make you feel bad, to make you realise your life is meaningless without Him, because that's what it is!
Upon entering eliot chapel, I saw a Bible open on the table near the window. I dumped my bag in a corner and walked over to it. The first thing I saw on the open page of this spiritual magnet that is the Word of God, was Psalm 103. I left the Bible where it was, got my own out of my sack and sat onto the sofa. Going through each verse I got more into God, each line being like a new degree of His Glory. Meditating on each verse was a mission, my eyes being opened at every stop. It took me a while to go through the while of it, though it is not that long, but the weight of every verse had to be felt and led me to think about other things, about how I had been living over the past weeks. The final three verses were a sprint of growing momentum, Glorifying the Lord, finishing as it started with the verse which is such a mystery but I caught a glimpse of it then and there... And when I finished it, I read it all over again!
Psalm 103
Of David. 1 Praise the LORD , O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD , O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-
3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
6 The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.
7 He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:
8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
15 As for man, his days are like grass,
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
16 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD's love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children's children-
18 with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.
19 The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.
20 Praise the LORD , you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.
21 Praise the LORD , all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.
22 Praise the LORD , all his works
everywhere in his dominion.
Praise the LORD , O my soul.
Well, I walked into the chapel last week, because I wanted to pray, it is never easy getting back together with God.
When you have not connected with Him in a while you suddenly feel, when you're trying to pray, that you don't know Him that well anymore, you feel distant. That is the worst feeling... You feel you've blown it, that the greatest thing you had, that kept you going is now gone. The truth is, no matter how many times I've blown it, I have always been able to reconnect with God, it just takes a little perseverance! The Lord will not turn his back on you, it's not in His nature. He COULD never, even if He wanted to, it's not in his promises. But He can make you feel bad, to make you realise your life is meaningless without Him, because that's what it is!
Upon entering eliot chapel, I saw a Bible open on the table near the window. I dumped my bag in a corner and walked over to it. The first thing I saw on the open page of this spiritual magnet that is the Word of God, was Psalm 103. I left the Bible where it was, got my own out of my sack and sat onto the sofa. Going through each verse I got more into God, each line being like a new degree of His Glory. Meditating on each verse was a mission, my eyes being opened at every stop. It took me a while to go through the while of it, though it is not that long, but the weight of every verse had to be felt and led me to think about other things, about how I had been living over the past weeks. The final three verses were a sprint of growing momentum, Glorifying the Lord, finishing as it started with the verse which is such a mystery but I caught a glimpse of it then and there... And when I finished it, I read it all over again!
Psalm 103
Of David. 1 Praise the LORD , O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD , O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-
3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
6 The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.
7 He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:
8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
15 As for man, his days are like grass,
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
16 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD's love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children's children-
18 with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.
19 The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.
20 Praise the LORD , you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.
21 Praise the LORD , all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.
22 Praise the LORD , all his works
everywhere in his dominion.
Praise the LORD , O my soul.
Saturday, January 01, 2005
Going... Home?
I don't know about you, but there are moments in life, when I'm alone, in which I can actually hear myself think! Did you ever notice that even when you are alone most times, your thoughts are so confused that they are just a bundle of murmurs which are supposed to help you deal with your problems. Do they?... Maybe that's just me, anyway, when you don't have troubles on your mind, that, in my opinion, is when you have hope, for you can actually look around and see. What do you see?...
01/01/2005
Sul treno Grosseto – Orbetello
On the train, going… somewhere.
This sweet and gentle rocking
Brings some sort of peace,
Even though my eyes are tired
And my body slumped.
Appearing and disappearing as I go
A hundred scenes each with
Its own loveliness, playing
Notes and chords to me.
The sites of this land,
So simple, yet so charming.
Vine-filled green hills
Take the shape of a
Voluptuous woman laying.
Little crops of trees still thinking
It’s fall on this first day of the year
Add colourfulness.
Lone roads and lone rivers, leading to
Oh!… A cottage not far from the railway and
Sigh… Miles on…
Rows of cypresses, always leaving me
Quizzical and enchanted.
Never a bad idea…
Have you been there…?
I’d like to…
It’s a show you watch
As the train calmly goes.
Can you reach it?
Wouldn’t that be nice
Miles of land without seeing a man.
I feel I’m one day late,
That this is the last day of the year
And tomorrow new things initiate,
But I guess that’s just an impression,
It gets me more than once,
It’s just… a feeling.
Our hearts don’t follow calendars,
Except on the moment in special occasions.
They make their own beginnings and ends,
With the things that happen to us,
With the way we grow
With what we learn…
My hat is my cushion,
Hoping this train takes me to a place I can call home.
Sul treno, direzione… qualche luogo.
Questo cullare dolce e tranquillo
Ispira una specie di pace
Sebbene i miei occhi siano stanchi
Ed il mio corpo sbragato.
Appaiono e scompaiono andando
Cento viste, ognuna con
La propria delicatezza suonandomi
Note e corde.
I paesaggi di questa terra
Così semplici, ma così attraenti.
Le verdi colline coperte di vigne
Sono le curve di una vergine voluttuosa versata
Alcuni gruppi di alberi pensano che sia
Ancora autunno questo primo dell’anno,
rendendo tutto più colorito.
Strade solitarie e solitari fiumi che portano fino a
Oh!… Una casetta non lontana dalla ferrovia ed
Sospiro… Chilometri più in là…
File di cipressi, che mi lasciano sempre
Curioso ed incantato.
Non sono mai una cattiva idea…
Ci sei mai stato?
A me piacerebbe…
È una pellicola che scorre
Mentre il treno se ne va.
Ci puoi arrivare?
Non sarebbe bello?…
Estese di terra senza vedere anima umana.
Mi sembra di avere un giorno di ritardo,
che oggi sia l’ultimo dell’anno,
e domani nuove cose incominceranno.
Dev’essere soltanto un’impressione,
mi succede ogni tanto,
non è altro che… un sentimento.
I nostri cuori non seguono i calendari
A parte sul momento, per occasioni speciali.
Si fanno i loro propri inizi e fini,
dalle cose che ci capitano,
dal modo in cui cresciamo,
da quello che impariamo…
Mio cappello mi fa da cuscino,
Speriamo che questo treno mi porti in un posto che io possa chiamare casa…
Questo sono io… Questa è la mia vita.
01/01/2005
Sul treno Grosseto – Orbetello
On the train, going… somewhere.
This sweet and gentle rocking
Brings some sort of peace,
Even though my eyes are tired
And my body slumped.
Appearing and disappearing as I go
A hundred scenes each with
Its own loveliness, playing
Notes and chords to me.
The sites of this land,
So simple, yet so charming.
Vine-filled green hills
Take the shape of a
Voluptuous woman laying.
Little crops of trees still thinking
It’s fall on this first day of the year
Add colourfulness.
Lone roads and lone rivers, leading to
Oh!… A cottage not far from the railway and
Sigh… Miles on…
Rows of cypresses, always leaving me
Quizzical and enchanted.
Never a bad idea…
Have you been there…?
I’d like to…
It’s a show you watch
As the train calmly goes.
Can you reach it?
Wouldn’t that be nice
Miles of land without seeing a man.
I feel I’m one day late,
That this is the last day of the year
And tomorrow new things initiate,
But I guess that’s just an impression,
It gets me more than once,
It’s just… a feeling.
Our hearts don’t follow calendars,
Except on the moment in special occasions.
They make their own beginnings and ends,
With the things that happen to us,
With the way we grow
With what we learn…
My hat is my cushion,
Hoping this train takes me to a place I can call home.
Sul treno, direzione… qualche luogo.
Questo cullare dolce e tranquillo
Ispira una specie di pace
Sebbene i miei occhi siano stanchi
Ed il mio corpo sbragato.
Appaiono e scompaiono andando
Cento viste, ognuna con
La propria delicatezza suonandomi
Note e corde.
I paesaggi di questa terra
Così semplici, ma così attraenti.
Le verdi colline coperte di vigne
Sono le curve di una vergine voluttuosa versata
Alcuni gruppi di alberi pensano che sia
Ancora autunno questo primo dell’anno,
rendendo tutto più colorito.
Strade solitarie e solitari fiumi che portano fino a
Oh!… Una casetta non lontana dalla ferrovia ed
Sospiro… Chilometri più in là…
File di cipressi, che mi lasciano sempre
Curioso ed incantato.
Non sono mai una cattiva idea…
Ci sei mai stato?
A me piacerebbe…
È una pellicola che scorre
Mentre il treno se ne va.
Ci puoi arrivare?
Non sarebbe bello?…
Estese di terra senza vedere anima umana.
Mi sembra di avere un giorno di ritardo,
che oggi sia l’ultimo dell’anno,
e domani nuove cose incominceranno.
Dev’essere soltanto un’impressione,
mi succede ogni tanto,
non è altro che… un sentimento.
I nostri cuori non seguono i calendari
A parte sul momento, per occasioni speciali.
Si fanno i loro propri inizi e fini,
dalle cose che ci capitano,
dal modo in cui cresciamo,
da quello che impariamo…
Mio cappello mi fa da cuscino,
Speriamo che questo treno mi porti in un posto che io possa chiamare casa…
Questo sono io… Questa è la mia vita.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)