Church planting, competency and frustration

I put down the guitar, frustrated that the worship hadn't gone the way I had hoped, realising my talk was too convoluted and that I had once again failed to delegate leading the service and worship... it was another "me" show. I sat down thinking "I haven't done my job as a leader... What am I doing, leading a church plant?" With the year starting up again and my other job with that, I found myself worrying about my competency in both fields!

As I tried to get to bed, I almost got a panic attack, worrying about the first day back at work. Lying there, I started thinking about potential future failure and what that would mean... How did I end up thinking this stuff? I'd just got back from an extremely encouraging visit to other churches, got prayed for by great leaders etc. I started slumbering and ended up in a three-level Inception dream, starting with some kind of adventure which I don't quite remember.

In my dream, I eventually stumbled into a room where John Piper was preaching to a camera. This was pretty odd. I sat down and listened to him as he continued talking, and when he had finished his recording, he sat down with me and asked me how he could help me. At that point I woke up from the 2nd level of the dream and thought I was awake, checking my e-mails, seeing that Piper had written several messages with advice. I had time neither to chat with him nor to read these emails, since that is when I really awoke, in the middle of the night. Kind of frustrating, right?

But somehow, as I lay there in bed, maybe half asleep, I heard his voice in my head giving me the most encouraging, yet challenging nutshell ever. "What God is looking for is FAITHFUL men."

Even as I type these words, tears come to my eyes. What God has called us to, church planters, is such a momentous task and yet, it can seem, even from our own perspective, such a ridiculous task! How are we going to change the world? By having meetings in homes and churches... The wisdom of God turns men's intelligence upside down.

What a short and simple word. How weird that John Piper would appear (I'm still waiting for Jesus to show up in my dreams, hasn't happened yet, that I can remember!), rather than Terry or some other big leader figure, but how encouraging... It is amazing, isn't it, how a simple word, in such a context, could change someone from despair to delight, resentment to resolve, frustration to comfort, though the challenge is a real one. God is looking for faithful men and women who will follow Him in obedience through all. Even if growth doesn't happen. But trusting that it will, if it is His will.

Begin Again - a Yes movie

May contain spoilers.

With a rom-com loving wife, I am occasionally on the lookout for good ones (as a film pathological buff I’m pretty much constantly on the lookout for good movies, especially Asian ones). When this proves to be an almost impossible task, I settle for finding bearable ones. The genre is so predictable, with awful lines, awkward moments, and the usual finale where the girl stands on her soap box to declare how her feelings makes no sense, that she’s been lying to everyone, and that she’s a good person deep inside.

I’d zoned in on one movie with a slightly more promising trailer than the other rubbish out there and teased out a time for us to watch it with Nikki. When Begin Again ended, after a very pleasant 1h44 minutes, I cried out “YES!” Let me tell you why.

Apart from its awful title, it is a thoroughly enjoyable movie. It talks about a musician and a producer who decide to record an album. Both are going through personal issues, though they are at very different stages in life. It is a movie that pits various elements against each other: authentic VS unauthentic music, relationships worth fighting for VS ones that one needs to walk away from, and it does so brilliantly.

Actually, it’s not a romantic comedy, but just as well. It is a slice of life movie which blends elements from romance, musical, and drama to make something which feels very real. The excellent script has great lines and does a nice job of including and contrasting British English speech and mannerisms with American ones. The language is real, people swear with their guts but it doesn’t go the way of the vulgar R-rated comedies which are multiplying over the pond. Mark Ruffalo stands out as a fantastically nuanced actor, Keira Knightley impresses too. My biggest shock came when I found out the lovely voice that sung her songs was actually HERS!

But ultimately, I yelled “YES”, because the movie ends with a good resolution for the main characters. It upholds and honours them as people, in a sex-saturated movie industry, where characters jump into bed on first dates at an alarming rate, and even in a relationships-obsessed society, where it is impossible for someone not to be with someone!

The French actor-director-scriptwriter Alexandre Astier says comedy and drama are part of life and therefore good movies should have their share of both. I think this one does a good job of it, and with great music at that.