unadulterated gibberish

I guess I don't have the time or wish to post everything that has been happening since I left the UK on the 24th May, because some things are just a bit too personal and some things a bit too boring. So, I will give a sort of summary of what's been happening, but I might just end up posting for pages (nice alliteration there). I am typing from a brand-spanking new computer assembled by a really good guy who is a friend of the family (he even gave me free cds!), but that's getting ahead of myself since this only happened yesterday, so you will understand my excitement!

So there I was, at Stansted airport, a month minus ten days ago going through the security check and a guy checks my phone with a swab similar to those in "Gattaca", then tests it through a computer (just like in the film, which is funny, because this gattaca stuff just came to mind twenty seconds ago!), then he let me go. I was clean. It was probably a test for drugs and I, being a good boy resulted negative. It won't always be like that though... I saw an article today on the newspaper (oh Joey, you read the newspaper?!) "Il Tirreno", which is the newspaper of the west coast of Italy (represent!), which talked about people with specific illnesses being inoculated (no, I didn't find it in the article OR in a dictionary!) with a microchip which would calculate their blood pressure and other things AS WELL AS contact the patient's hospital in case of danger. Now that's all very well for the progress of science, but it just reminds us of the advances in technology and looking at the world and at the Bible, we can see how the devil uses technology and will use it more and more, since through it one can achieve the most worrying levels of control ever achieved in history. It is widely believed (or so I think) that the mark of the beast spoken of in Revelation (L'Apocalypse for those frenchies reading) will be some form of microchip installed inside of people, thus succeeding to reach total control of the population, while those who refuse to have it installed will be persecuted and/or terminated. Even those new British Identity Cards freak me out.

Back to base camp, let's say I had a short rant, that's what this post might end up being: "Joey's thoughts on... Everything!" At this point, I'm sure some of you have decided to move on to Pat's or Jeanne's blog, and are thinking "Joey, you rambling lunatic, I thought you were a concise writer!" and my answer to you is this... Only in essays!

Ok, let's give the facts, funny and freaky! The coach driver for London at 15h50 on Monday 23rd May was "gay" as James would say, as he backed out of his bay in the coach station. I waved at him and mouthed "can you let me in?" He looked at me with the expression of a "stone-man" and shook his stone-head which at that point I would have loved to punch and brandish in front of everyone like Perseus with Medusa's head and everyone would have applauded and praised me for freeing the world from frustrated and unfulfilled coach drivers. That did not happen. I went back to Jimbo's Barry, he was lovely enough to wait with me until the next coach's hour of arrival. I thought, "I never have anyone waiting with me at the bus station, how nice!". The coach did not arrive. Jimbo's parking ticket time ended and he had to go, then I waited another 40 minutes. Then I thought "oh well, at least it's not any longer than usual!". The coach driver even dared to have an attitude about his lateness. Thus Jimbo's verdict was that all coach drivers are "gay". Too bad for them.

The first thing you feel in Italy, arriving from the UK, is the humidity which blends in with the heat in a very sticky and sweaty mess, but usually you don't expect that effect to hit you until the summer, mid-June at most. Apparently that wasn't soon enough though. Anyway, it is lovely hot here and sometimes it can be too much but I am tanning, which is pretty cool, I have to make up for the extended period I spend every year in Britannia, my skin turning green. As much as the reptile-like ninja capacities I might be able to develop from that side-effect of rubbish weather are desirable for my future job as a contract assassin, I fear the dark skies of winter might actually totally deteriorate my skin cells until making me look something close to Spock, or say Micheal Jackson, bless him he's a free man apparently, poor chap. I'd rather not. The sun here is much more inviting.

A retreat with your parents is never a retreat. When you're living on your own, you have so much time on your hands you don't know what to do with it and proceed to take a period or two a day of lamenting yourself on your loneliness. When you are a now independent (except for financially) and growing in maturity person, staying with your parents, the opposite happens, in which you wonder whether you will ever have a moment alone...
So far I have been to all the places of the past, except for Rome, where my sister lives. The first week we drove up to Lago Maggiore to clean up the apartment and see some cousins, the second week my mum went off to Denmark for my cousin's wedding, while me and dad drove up to Argenta, my dad's hometown, where I saw uncle and auntie, friends and cousins. Got back in touch with my family, which is nice, and got in touch with the modernised home town, which I do not mind at all now! I'd love to go back soon, the landscape of the Po plain is absolutely gorgeous. I must say I really prefer it to the kind of vegetation we get here by the sea, I'm much more of a mountain/countryside guy, than a sea guy. Sure it's beautiful, but it does not speak to me the way mountain and countyside do, the fresh air, the scents, the atmosphere.

I have been writing a lot since I am here, except in the past week. But now here I am, writing more that you can bear. That previous post of Jim's stag night is only a part of what my mind and my writing hand have been up to.

So finally we got this gorgeous piece of hardware and software and now I can also scan pictures because our friends purchased as a present a printer/photocopier/scanner all in a beautiful Epson box! I'll see what it can do and you might see some pictures soon.

Unadulterated gibberish by J.T. Noels, thank you very much. Peace out!