Sunday, August 07, 2011

A Love Story of Patience

It's wedding season more than ever (even more than the epic 2006 summer of weddings across England) and young couples are tying the knot all over Geneva! Week-ends at ICF are spent setting up for weddings, attending weddings and clearing up the mess afterwards (for the unlucky ones, whoops, I meant the most servant-hearted ones, which I'm not a part of!).

But it is really good to know that God does reward the faithful who seek him and these couples are now enjoying the wonders of marriage within a great community of people who care for them. Marriage is SO last century for more and more people it seems and the hope they have for their relationship is really depressing when it comes down to it. It seems relationships are characterised more by selfishness than sacrifice: what can I get out of this, over what can I bring to this. I'm not saying that one does not seek their own good in the relationship, but I am saying that the true good can only come out of giving oneself fully. Now clearly that's never gonna work if the other person isn't ready to do that, which is also why we need our mentalities changed, our vision reshaped, our hearts softened again. Why is the need for companionship something even people who have no interest in spirituality recognise? It is within us. We cannot live well with a string of relationships, cannot enjoy any peace, comfort, joy, with loose ties. And one cannot enter into marriage with the thought "when this gets tough, I'm outta here!" Marriage is ultimate: it can be an ultimate blessing or an ultimate curse. But anything less in a relationship is just trying to work around the fact that man and woman are meant for union, not usage.

Enough of my unplanned platitudes. This post is to honour my friends Sébastien and Danielle who got married last month and for whom I wrote this song.




A Love Story of Patience

(Chanson pour Séb et Dani)

30/06/2011

Well bro, I don’t know if I can make it

There’s not a day that goes by without me wanting to say it

But she made a promise, shall we say, not to date until May

I think I love her and think that she just may

So I’ll try to stay put and pray…

C’est tant de temps que j’attends ce moment

Que saurais-je dire sans tomber dans un délire ?

Cette cour touche à sa fin, s’il te plaît prends ma main

Tu es la fille dont j’ai longtemps rêvé

Et tu sais que je vais t’honorer…

Es tanto tiempo que yo he esperado

A un hombre como tú, por Dios desesperado

Tú no sabes desde cuando oro, lloro por ti tanto que te adoro

Y creo que lo vamos a lograr

Pues te dejare llevar…

Today I looked into your eyes and felt bliss

We made each other vows and enjoyed our first kiss…

And with our family and friends we’ll pull through to the end

But dedicate this to the one we trust

And started it all, our love Jesus…


Monday, April 04, 2011

Turnaround

Harro! I'm posting my new song. It's the rawest thing I've posted here I think, with least recherché lyrics, but it's also the most overt snippet I've posted about my relationship with Jesus, and about the work he does in my heart, miraculously, again and again.

Musically, I love the way it goes from a lullaby to a love song, then into a full-on rock song, to go back to a mix of the first two. The initial chords came while I was leading worship in my small group a few months back during a contemplative moment.

Here it is:

Turnaround

20/02/2011-04/04/2011
Dedicato a Gesù e Neko-chan

My heart sinks walking home, I purse my lips and groan,
As frustrations start to surface and I’m alone…
Sit and ponder in my room, in moody ambient gloom,
Disappointment strangles and worries loom.

But you, you call out my name,
Oh you, you call me by name,
And the air, all around has become an embrace.
My whole world is turned around, while sitting in the same place.

How can I put words to moments like these?
You’ve stuck your hand in my heart and are helping me breathe!
After writing a few refrains the lyrics always sound the same,
How can asking for your filling sound so banal and mundane?!

So come on and tell me the story once again
Of how you sought me out to be my lover and friend,
Though I rejected you and couldn’t see
That you were the only true one for me!

Oh the love – you expound
In this masterful turnaround!
How you blow me away
Every single time you find me!

You catch me unawares,
Cast away my fears,
Show me how you’ve answered all the prayers
That I would’ve prayed
Had I ever only dared to trust in your name…

And now I, I realise, the need to sacrifice
All the things I hold dear but make my affections unclear,
To make my heart completely yours, and thus make my joy secure,
And anything that Love would plan, I will take from your hand.

An’ so now I’ve come home,
At the feet of your throne.
Basking in your presence I will never be alone.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

What we most need…

A while back, I read a very honest post from a fellow translator from my school talking about man’s basic needs. If I remember correctly, he broke them down to something like food, sleep and sex. I understood his reasoning, but my reaction was “that’s pretty cynical, isn’t it?” What’s more, considering the excesses that occur in these areas, the staggering numbers related to obesity and pornography addiction, calling these things “cyclical needs” is actually downplaying a reality that eludes us consistently. Indeed, if they were only needs, then satiation should bring satisfaction, but it doesn't, it actually leaves us wanting more. Our greatest need is to “outpour”, or to use another word, worship.

This fact came vividly to mind recently as I happened to watch a report on the latest sensations in the music industry: Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber. Though I pretty much avoid listening to the radio as much as possible, and get depressed every time I do, this bizarre blonde bagger has managed to weasel her way into my cultural references and I’ve eventually had to take notice of her. As for JB, I don’t mean to hate on him, I love YouTube celebrities and actually think he’s probably the best role model teen pop music has had in at least a decade… We’ll just have to see how he turns out once his teenage audience dries up and his producers offer him a new contract, with guns, girls and grills. Nonetheless, you should notice a couple of things about these two pop stars. First of all, they’re not particularly talented, nor original: the little Lady is a scarily identical rehashing of Madonna’s earlier stuff, without any particular new addition, in fact the music’s pretty boring, except in her perverted excesses, appropriate for our generation; Justin Bieber is imitating Usher and Timberlake, who in turn are imitating Michael Jackson. He’s not an amazing singer, nor dancer, but he got noticed as being pretty good and having a cute face, and was enabled to work on his skills under the supervision of Usher; his great hit “Baby” audaciously uses its title keyword 55 times, and his latest hit, whose music video is really good (“Somebody to Love”), is actually a cover of an Usher song that never made it to video (and its lyrics sound awfully similar to an old rock classic). The producers have realised they don’t need to pay composers to write actually good music (and that goes across the spectrum of pop, R’n’B and even rock these days); why?

Because people go crazy over them anyway. The following is insane. Publicity is everything. How can it be so easy? People are just craving for something to worship. What’s funny is that their message is “love yourselves”, “do whatever makes you happy”, but the result is throngs of people worshipping them. People need to worship.

It was drilled into me even further as expectation built up during February for the Oscars. Being a film buff, I started out looking forward to them, but then I caught myself as I realised: “why are these people getting awards? Some of them are the richest, most ridiculously beloved people on the planet and they get to do a job that is fun and are paid millions to do it! Why do we need to praise them any further? Why doesn’t the single mum who works all week and raises her kids on her own get an Oscar?

These examples may not prove the point to some, so let me push it further. The Greeks got it: everything could be a god in Hellenistic culture. Money, beauty, work, the elements, even war. That is because anything can be a god! Most often, it’s a question of taking something good, something which gives pleasure or something recognised as important, and making it an absolute.

Let’s take for example my cultural background. Did you realise I’m mixed race? Italian and British, raised in the French school system. In these cultures, there are different cultural gods that pervade relationships, mentalities and focus; they tend to vary and are shifting in this period of history, but are quite clearly visible. In Italy, as well as most traditional cultures, family is a god. As a result, all things related to family receive divine status. Food is worshipped religiously, and deviating from traditional recipes is a sin, mothers become the source of all love and you elevate Mary, Jesus' mother, to divinity. However, when you put the pressure of being the “all in all of life” on your family, you get the social monstrosity of men staying home until the age of 40, in-laws ruining marriages and worn-out children rebelling against their parents. In England, independence and self-expression is the other end of the spectrum cultural god. That creates not few social problems of its own, demonstrating the power of selfishness, shown in its moral decadence. And in France, knowledge (aka Athena) is the cultural goddess, and those less cultured or who deviate from the norm of what is generally believed are considered less worthy. All this added up makes me a food-worshipping, self-expression-seeking, intellectual narcissist.

Where do I get this strange idea that all these things are elevated to the status of gods? I ain't smart enough to come up with that on my own. Genesis shows us that God created the world as a creative outpouring and then created us in his image, as outpourers. Our capacity and need to outpour is such that even in our separation from God through sin, we never cease to do it and we find things, normally beautiful things, to be the object of our outpouring, of our worship (am I outpouring through my writing to serve my conceited self or to honour God? Drawing lines is difficult in matters of the heart, as our motivations are often mixed). To those things we sacrifice our other most valuable things, because we attribute even greater value to them. In antiquity this took extreme and atrocious forms such as child immolation, but as Tim Keller so astutely points out, child sacrifice still happens today: if you want to have the high paying, successful career in the financial world in the City, you have to sacrifice your children for the sake of your career. Or, you may sacrifice your unborn child for the sake of your total independence and sexual “liberation”.

That's why it's so easy to make Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber into gods, you mix a bunch of great things together and you get an iconic idol: music, beauty (more in the case of JB than LG) and sexual self-expression (obviously more Lady Gaga), and great advertising elevate them to this status.

It doesn't even need to make sense! If you ever get the chance to read or watch interviews of the obnoxious freak that is Lady Gaga, you'll be amazed at the nonsense that can come out of her mouth. And I get flack for having a faith that the rationalists spurn... Give me a break.

People place hope in their idols. Watching 30 Seconds to Mars' – a band which I actually really appreciate – great music video “Closer to the Edge”, they placed mini interviews at the beginning and end, with young people saying random stuff that they were thinking. Two in particular struck me: a sweet little girl saying “I just wish there was no such thing as fighting, that the world could be just, like, perfect and that everybody could get along... but obviously, that can't happen”, and a tatted-up guy saying “music makes the world go round, and for me, if it wasn't around right now, I wouldn't be around right now. Music means e-ve-ry-thing to me... It's all I can say”. So, what, are you placing your hope in music to solve all conflicts in the world? Sorry, but you're a dead man walking. At least 30STM own up to it: they wrote it sarcastically in the middle of the music video, “Yes, this is a cult”, and the reason why their followers don't make any sense is that their own lyrics don't make any sense, if you read them, it's gnostic mysticism all over. Funny enough, musical idols conflict with each other: the little girl wishing all fighting could end will most probably become a teenager who despises other people in her school because instead of listening to emo-rock, they listen to pop, rap, or they just don't like 30 Seconds to Mars.

Politics is another great example of conflicting idols. People place all their hope in their political leaders and their ability to make their country a better place, and sometimes really hate on their opponents, which is funny when one considers the fact that disregarding someone's opinion has become the capital sin of our culture.

The worst idol, however, is probably still religion. In Jesus' time, the people he had the greatest problem with were the religious leaders. I love the way he kicks their asses so nonchalantly:

'The Pharisees and the scribes asked him, “Why do your disciples not walk according to the tradition of the elders, but eat with defiled hands?” (Without washing their hands before lunch, author's note) And he said to them, “Well did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written,

“‘This people honours me with their lips,

but their heart is far from me;

in vain do they worship me,

teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’”'

(Mark 7:5-7 ESV)

Church traditions become obligatory practices and the traditionalists judge the innovators for not keeping them. Then the innovators come up with great methods to do church and crap on the traditionalists and anyone who doesn't apply them, as if it were the only way to honour God. The Protestants who liberated themselves from the Vatican's oppression of the Middle-Ages became themselves the religious conformists within a few generations and the new and hip churches mock the traditionalists as well as the older church down the road, which half a generation ago was the innovating church, and which in turn judges the new church for its doctrinal looseness (I'm pointing out my own sins here by the way). In the end, religion is still self-salvation, your idol is still yourself and your personal righteousness, not God. Isn't it amazing that God would choose to use a bunch of crazy people like us to make up his church all over the world? His Grace and goodness truly know no bounds.

“So what are you selling then? What are you going to try and push our way: if everything can be a god and cause damage, then you can't place any one thing above another. We need to keep things relative!”... But as you say that, you're just avoiding the inconvenient truth of the idols in your own life. As I said, we are outpourers and worshippers. We can't help it. We always end up enslaving ourselves to created things, to levels where we destroy ourselves and people around us. You're gonna worship something, you're going to make a good thing into an absolute thing. But if it isn't an absolute thing to start with, it will never satisfy you, and you'll grow bitter and frustrated.

I'm certainly not making a case for syncretism, “liquid church” or agnosticism, for those of you who know what I'm talking about. I just, as usual, want to talk about Jesus.

How is Jesus any different from our other idols... First of all, he isn't one. An idol is something that replaces God, it is a created thing worshipped instead of the Creator. Colossians 1:15-16 tells us of Christ: “He is the image of the invisible God … by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible”. He is the Creator, the only one whose position truly deserves the worship. “But if you do that, you'll automatically bring hatred on people who don't believe in the same thing you do!” is your next objection. But how different he is: in the same breath, he can unashamedly demand your utter worship, and that you love every other person on the planet: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbour as yourself.” (Luke 10:27 ESV) He's the only person who can ask you to sacrifice your idols for his sake, but then be the one who sacrifices himself totally for you, to the point of death. Christ suffered the brutal oppressiveness of our idols so that we could be free of them, and suffered the righteous punishment due to idolaters such as myself, so I could be free to worship the true source of satisfaction, of joy, of life. He's SO WORTH IT!!! You ain't gonna find that anywhere else... Your idols will always beat you down, disappoint you, and ultimately lead you to death, but the gospel is this:

… Though we chose darkness and death, by wanting the things God could give us, but without wanting God, Jesus came into our darkness and went through death to bring us life in God, through his resurrection, delivering the greatest gifts of grace and forgiveness, to a world where conflict could never be solved fully, consensus could never be reached, because we keep placing our hope in statues that have no power, but whose weight crushed us. And he crushed them.

So don't place your hope in Lady Gaga, or in Justin Bieber, or in anything that fades with fashion... Jesus may not wear the coolest latest gear, and probably listened to traditional Jewish music (urgh...) but he is a solid Rock. The only rock worth basing your life on. And your outpouring to him will be poured back in exponential measures of true love, his love.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

John Piper on the love of God as inseparable from doctrine

This quote brings tears of joy and sadness to my eyes at the same time:

"Wherever the passion for Christ, the treasuring of Christ, the affectional embrace of Christ is missing, doctrine becomes intellectualistic, and the counter-error is debunking doctrine as though it's not important.

Wherever that passion, that joy is missing [...], behaviour becomes legalistic, and the counter-error is antinomianism because nobody wants to be legalistic, and therefore, getting our hearts passionate for Christ, getting churches emotionally engaged with the infinite value of Christ is hugely significant in the world, and when it's put in its proper place as a means of glorifying God [...], then doctrine has the magnificent function of [being] roots feeding into that joy, and therefore everybody loves it because it’s producing something beautiful, and out of that joy is overflowing the fruit of love and sacrificial, laying down your life, giving yourself away for other people.

And therefore, doctrine is really important, [or to use other words], right views of the glory of Christ make all the difference in the world, in the church.

And it’s a sad thing in our day, that doctrine – having a God with contours, edges – this is what he is, this is what he’s not – he’s not […] a fog, the Cross is not a fog, neither is the way He saves people, there are contours, an in and an out, a right and a wrong, a good, a bad, an ugly, a beautiful – it is tragic, that that is trashed today. Really tragic. And not because of any intellectual ego trip that anybody’s on… But because of joy being ruined! Because of love being destroyed!

[…]

“But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.” (Galatians 6:14)"

(From the Reformission conference 2004)

Monday, February 14, 2011

Chasing after the sun

So it's taken a lot of time, prayer and meditation, walks, runs and train rides, but here's my new song. Expression is soooo hard when you want to use the right words while being theologically correct, literarily aesthetic, metrically functional and sonorous... But I'm pleased with it, like a baby that took several months to come out. And one day it'll be recorded.
In the meantime, here are the lyrics. You may try to find the several themes interwoven, I'd love your comments.

Chasing after the Sun

Initial concept sometime around 2007
writing from mid 2010 to February 2011

I stare into a counterfeit light from early in the morning ‘til late at night
False love, false relationships, false self-sufficiency.
And I get the nagging feeling, stirring from my passive screening
That it’s killing my emotions and my creativity.

Then I step outside, it burns my eyes but heals
In the true light I encounter what’s real…


Well, would you give me a break!?

Because you’re making me feel like a teenager again, something I hate,
With every glance you throw at me, the ground beneath me shakes


An arrow streaks across the sky

And you pierce me with your eyes
You shut me up, I’m so afraid,
Can I back up what I’d want to say?
Taking the lead in a dance for two,
And learning to lay my life down for you...

Well I thought my insecurities would end along with puberty
But years later they come on stronger all the more…
I catch a whiff of evening jasmine on my run, but I keep on chasing after the sun
Its final rays reach to my shore, pierce through my core, leave me wanting more…

Various brushstrokes of grey paint my 6a.m. sky
Smoke blurring all the lines as winds make battleships collide
Was I not better off, in a world that’s spurious
Sheltered and safe from an inconsistent reality?

Because it’s making me feel, so impotent again
Face to what I can’t ignore
A world that’s dead and motionless which I won’t even mourn...

But something streaks across the sky…

And the city comes to life
Eyelids cracking open on the buildings of granite,
The trees yawning and stretching their arms as they wake,
And morning whispers sliding down the mountains, onto the lake.

It’s lit a spark within my heart, the thought of which just satiates
And colours in the grey and dark as the distant fire coruscates…


I can see it happen almost like a pattern
But even in the know I'm overcome
Though it may be dominated by strata
You show me to whom this firmament belongs
When the clouds scatter…

But my puzzle’s still undone,
Guess I’ll keep on chasing after the sun,
Over the hill and down the moor…