Sunday, January 29, 2012

Movies about losers

It may surprise some that my first post in a long time is about movies. I haven't had much time to watch any recently, but during a long flight, in which I was able to take advantage of long-distance flight benefits, I was able to view a whole bunch of very enjoyable films on a very small screen. The interesting thing was that the quality of the image didn't impinge so much on my enjoyment of the movies, because the quality of the story shone through (though I'm sure a better quality image wouldn't have bothered me).

The movies I'm talking about are recent productions: Moneyball, The Beaver and Larry Crowne.

The first is nominated for the Oscars, which I think a bit excessive, but I guess it speaks to Americans in a way it never could to non-Americans, being focussed on baseball, but what I found fascinating about these three movies (and the other two didn't get amazing reviews) is that they're movies about losers. These movies are particularly timely now that America is having to review its identity as a country of winners, however, what's really interesting is that they're not necessarily huge productions. The movies have an odd pace about them, the scripts are pleasant but not particularly complex, and the stories, interestingly, integrate very strong moral values. What is even more interesting, in my opinion, is that it is actors who are backing these movies, as opposed to big production houses. Moneyball is produced by Brad Pitt, while The Beaver and Larry Crowne are directed respectively by Jodie Foster and Tom Hanks. In this great time of crisis, the big production companies are still making idiotic, frenzied and clichéd entertainers, like "Real Steel" and another G.I. Joe movie (which I may even watch), that are just that: entertainment, distractions, things to keep people not thinking about what's happening in their world, in life, and keep them almost believing that the world is divided into beautiful, good people and into ugly, bad people. Funny enough, famous actors seem more in tune with reality and are taking on the challenge of speaking to the American and Western people about hard truth, namely, the harshness of life, and the hope that can still be found.

As I said, three unaccomplished guys are the main characters in these movies.

In Moneyball (a true story), Pitt plays a baseball manager who, in his younger years, was hailed as a new star in baseball, but in the end, didn't rise to the expectations placed on him. He chose professional baseball over a scholarship in a prestigious university and we find him embittered against the old baseball talent scouts who had promised him greatness. What he does though, is find a way to take a whole bunch of losers in baseball and make them achieve something no-one else had before. The baseball factor makes it not so easy to understand for Europeans, but the principles therein are understandable and they come through, in spite of the medium. But what makes this movie great is that, as opposed to many sports movies that hail the sport they talk about as the greatest ultimate objective, the big decisions that the protagonist finally makes are actually based on how to best love his family (I'm not saying any more so I don't ruin the movie for you), which shows there are things worth winning at that are much greater than sports or careers.

The Beaver was the most touching for me. Mel Gibson plays a clinically depressed man whose wife has tried everything to save him and who has to go through his very own journey of madness and loss in order to find himself and be reconciled to himself, his wife and the son who hates him. Really worth watching. It's funny and painful. All three movies talk about divorce, but this movie upholds marriage and the idea of fighting for a marriage more than any movie I've seen in recent years.

Larry Crowne was a sweet movie about a guy who gets fired and has to accept to make difficult, humbling decisions in life in order to adjust to a new lifestyle in the present economical situation. He faces it with optimism, pushing through his despair. The story pits him against another type of man who chooses to abdicate responsibility in life and loses everything because of it, an interesting praise of chivalry and manly virtue, even though as I said, it's not perfect. But it's honest, and it cuts through the heart of many things.

I don't know whether I'm putting the right words to this post, I'm trying not to give away key elements of the plots, but they're really worth watching.

I find it interesting that we haven't heard much of the last two, just like another picture that came out a couple of years ago and who never made it to cinemas here in Geneva, or I didn't hear about it, and wasn't able to watch it: The Company Men. A movie about corporate executives getting fired during the crisis and having to reassess their lives and identities in light of their socio-economical standpoint. These are movies that are made to shake people up from their slumber and to show them: here's reality, and here's hope. It seems though that people don't want to be shaken up and would rather stay in a stupor of shallow entertainment, while this world crumbles and the fabric of our society is falling apart.

I don't know whether any of this makes sense, I haven't been writing in a while, especially not in English, but I find it funny how as one grows, one's preferences evolve. I myself feel like I've awoken from a stupor and am seeing reality better than before. Indeed, even though this whole post is about films, one of the best things I've learnt recently is this: switch off that screen.

Saturday, November 05, 2011

Meeting her

What was I doing at a Chinese New Year party, and, what’s more, why was I the only guy wearing a Chinese shirt? Those who know me well know the answers to those questions, and their reaction is usually “Joey…” Anyway, apart from my Asian movie fandom, my Chinese housemate had invited me and it was nearby. And food is always good. Anyway, there I was. I won’t lie by saying I wasn’t on the prowl, but only as a perennial single such as myself normally is. In reality, you don’t really believe you could meet someone right for you at a party, but it’s always nice to impress and feel appreciated. In my own philosophy/theology of relationships, I’d swung from one end of the Calvinist pendulum to the other: on the one hand, believing that predestination is also for details of life such as who I’m going to marry, and on the other, giving up on believing the perfect woman for me exists and that I should just get on with life, and if someone who can put up with me shows up (idea which by then, I’d pretty much given up on), take them on with their own flaws. When one thinks about it, those two are not in contradiction. And while I believed both, like for most things, I didn’t fully believe them until I experienced them that very night, though I only realised it much later. But now, I’d say that’s the only advice I have for those in the same situation. Trust, and walk. Don’t settle for cheap sensations. You may be forfeiting something far greater…

“Wow, at least I’m not the only one wearing a Chinese shirt now! I’m Joey, what’s your name?” I get a weird look back. I must admit, that was lame. Then again, what do you expect? This isn’t a movie with scripted lines. I’d seen her walk through the door, and knew I must speak to her. ‘What was it?’ I thought later … I guess she was just really gorgeous. That’s the first time I saw Nikki.

How we got together is a funny story, already told to death, involving, at some point, a surprise romantic pick-nick on our first date (not that she was aware of the fact it was a date), and you can ask me when you see me.

It’s really strange for me to write about her, so used as I am to being single, as used as I am to being the odd person who doesn’t really fit anywhere. There must be a connection there, somewhere. Indeed, I always knew that the day I met someone crazy enough to stick around and who would ‘get me’, that girl would be the one for me. I remember writing up interminable lists of things that I wanted in my woman when I was younger, then later scrapping them when I realised how embarrassing that was. Those lists stick in one’s head though, as they represent one’s taste. Thinking back, it’s even more shameful for me to realise they were, by and large, lists of external qualities and skills and experiences, much like a (very extensive) CV, and hardly about character and internal qualities. The amazing thing is, she fulfils qualities I never realised I would have needed from a woman. Forgiveness, for example. Sweetness, kindness, gentleness. Openness. She has a humble heart, as I’d always hoped for in a woman, but she humbles me. And she fulfils me in ways I’d never expected: she is so funny. I can honestly say she’s become my best friend, something I hadn’t thought possible for quite a few years now, and I want to fight for her. Now that I’m in a serious relationship, I see my own flaws more clearly and bigger than ever before, and I want to beat them down more than before.

All these things are no different from what one would hear at any talk on relationships in church, but until one experiences them, they mean nothing to him.

When we started dating, I was shocked at the way, every time I saw her, she just looked more beautiful, as though I was seeing her for the first time all over again. And better. And the bizarre connections we have are so wonderfully refreshing, I just couldn’t have asked for anyone better. That is also why I haven’t been blogging for months. Too busy writing to her, talking, hanging out. Oh, and working like a maniac, which is completely unrelated, except for the fact that it’s all part of a new stage in life, and an exciting one at that…

Love is a strange thing. I was already convinced of the fact that it is a choice. It has never been truer than in my relationship with Nikki. Of course I’m drawn to her in a way I am to no other woman, but I realise I could easily choose to be unfaithful. Making the choice to love her builds my love for her, strengthening it and making it more beautiful. The choice is for the singles too, not to let oneself be tossed to and fro by sensations and sensuality, but to let the greater love of God overcome one’s need for those and aim for true relationship. And I know that isn’t something that applies only to Theists. One can also appeal to humanist beliefs to help them respect the opposite sex and draw out the best in them instead of the worst.

I know that it’s been a ride for the both of us. Nikki’s getting to know my flaws, my peeves, the way I act when I’m tense, my strange interests. Thankfully, she has a few of her own!

Anyway, after a whole lot of praying, thinking, discussion, flying over to England to speak to my mentors, I just cannot see a reason not to marry her. So that’s what we’re going to do.

Three weeks ago, I asked her to marry me. Through teary eyes, breathless, she whispered “yes…”

www.joeyxnikki.org

Sunday, August 07, 2011

A Love Story of Patience

It's wedding season more than ever (even more than the epic 2006 summer of weddings across England) and young couples are tying the knot all over Geneva! Week-ends at ICF are spent setting up for weddings, attending weddings and clearing up the mess afterwards (for the unlucky ones, whoops, I meant the most servant-hearted ones, which I'm not a part of!).

But it is really good to know that God does reward the faithful who seek him and these couples are now enjoying the wonders of marriage within a great community of people who care for them. Marriage is SO last century for more and more people it seems and the hope they have for their relationship is really depressing when it comes down to it. It seems relationships are characterised more by selfishness than sacrifice: what can I get out of this, over what can I bring to this. I'm not saying that one does not seek their own good in the relationship, but I am saying that the true good can only come out of giving oneself fully. Now clearly that's never gonna work if the other person isn't ready to do that, which is also why we need our mentalities changed, our vision reshaped, our hearts softened again. Why is the need for companionship something even people who have no interest in spirituality recognise? It is within us. We cannot live well with a string of relationships, cannot enjoy any peace, comfort, joy, with loose ties. And one cannot enter into marriage with the thought "when this gets tough, I'm outta here!" Marriage is ultimate: it can be an ultimate blessing or an ultimate curse. But anything less in a relationship is just trying to work around the fact that man and woman are meant for union, not usage.

Enough of my unplanned platitudes. This post is to honour my friends Sébastien and Danielle who got married last month and for whom I wrote this song.




A Love Story of Patience

(Chanson pour Séb et Dani)

30/06/2011

Well bro, I don’t know if I can make it

There’s not a day that goes by without me wanting to say it

But she made a promise, shall we say, not to date until May

I think I love her and think that she just may

So I’ll try to stay put and pray…

C’est tant de temps que j’attends ce moment

Que saurais-je dire sans tomber dans un délire ?

Cette cour touche à sa fin, s’il te plaît prends ma main

Tu es la fille dont j’ai longtemps rêvé

Et tu sais que je vais t’honorer…

Es tanto tiempo que yo he esperado

A un hombre como tú, por Dios desesperado

Tú no sabes desde cuando oro, lloro por ti tanto que te adoro

Y creo que lo vamos a lograr

Pues te dejare llevar…

Today I looked into your eyes and felt bliss

We made each other vows and enjoyed our first kiss…

And with our family and friends we’ll pull through to the end

But dedicate this to the one we trust

And started it all, our love Jesus…


Monday, April 04, 2011

Turnaround

Harro! I'm posting my new song. It's the rawest thing I've posted here I think, with least recherché lyrics, but it's also the most overt snippet I've posted about my relationship with Jesus, and about the work he does in my heart, miraculously, again and again.

Musically, I love the way it goes from a lullaby to a love song, then into a full-on rock song, to go back to a mix of the first two. The initial chords came while I was leading worship in my small group a few months back during a contemplative moment.

Here it is:

Turnaround

20/02/2011-04/04/2011
Dedicato a Gesù e Neko-chan

My heart sinks walking home, I purse my lips and groan,
As frustrations start to surface and I’m alone…
Sit and ponder in my room, in moody ambient gloom,
Disappointment strangles and worries loom.

But you, you call out my name,
Oh you, you call me by name,
And the air, all around has become an embrace.
My whole world is turned around, while sitting in the same place.

How can I put words to moments like these?
You’ve stuck your hand in my heart and are helping me breathe!
After writing a few refrains the lyrics always sound the same,
How can asking for your filling sound so banal and mundane?!

So come on and tell me the story once again
Of how you sought me out to be my lover and friend,
Though I rejected you and couldn’t see
That you were the only true one for me!

Oh the love – you expound
In this masterful turnaround!
How you blow me away
Every single time you find me!

You catch me unawares,
Cast away my fears,
Show me how you’ve answered all the prayers
That I would’ve prayed
Had I ever only dared to trust in your name…

And now I, I realise, the need to sacrifice
All the things I hold dear but make my affections unclear,
To make my heart completely yours, and thus make my joy secure,
And anything that Love would plan, I will take from your hand.

An’ so now I’ve come home,
At the feet of your throne.
Basking in your presence I will never be alone.